@asimplesean: Pretty sure my dog would make a shitty astronaut because space is a vacuum and those tend to scare him
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@5hael: Thanks for saying 'on your mobile' in your bio, for a moment I thought you might be tweeting like me, from a calculator in the psych ward
@rickolantern: [making yellowjackets] Angel: These things don't really do anything other than sting people God: We're running out of college mascots
@FatherWithTwins: I can tell my 5yo will make a great politician someday by the way he uses other kids as human shields in dodgeball.