@asimplesean: Pretty sure my dog would make a shitty astronaut because space is a vacuum and those tend to scare him
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@smithsara79: [surprising my bf at work] Me: Hey you *wink* Him: *stops putting out cheese samples* We've been over this, lady, either buy something or leave
@Flattliner: Whoever said that blood is thicker than water is plainly a) Fond of stating the obvious, and b) Not a member of my family.
@Ygrene: [I go to Hell and everything appears to be virtually identical to Earth] “Well this isn’t so bad”, I say [I immediately notice that my voice sounds exactly like I do on a tape recorder]