@Mikecanrant: Pretty upset to find out that salmonella poisoning has nothing to do with a vindictive fish named Ella.
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@T_N_Crumpets: Bartender: YOU'RE the guy that drinks from the soap dispenser in the toilets? Me: [I try to say "NO" but it's just lavender scented bubbles]
@myonlymizztake: Just finished leg day with my new trainer and now I need to replace the stairs in my house with an elevator. Or shower in the kitchen sink?
@robfee: I feel like Frosted Flakes gives kids an unreasonable expectation of how friendly tigers are when you try to feed them a bowl of cereal.