@HousewifeOfHell: Pro tip: If he pretends he can't hear you, talk some shit about his mother.
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@Its_Miss_Riss: Just saw a fully functional phone booth with an intact yellow pages; so, yeah, I know a thing or two about time travel.
@bourgeoisalien: If I was the editor of Vogue, I'd just put an actual skeleton on the cover with the headline, "Feel bad yet? You should, Fatty."
@Just_Lee_: When someone is murdered, the police investigate the spouse first. And that tells you everything you need to know about marriage.