@panmidwest: Pro Tip: Make sure you wear your Fitbit on your dominant hand so you get credit every time you lift an ice cream cone to your mouth.
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@iwearaonesie: wife *sees chair* [thinking] That would look great with the new rug in the living room me *sees chair* [thinking] Chair
@ashmensch: *steps on Lego* *stumbles backwards and trips over more Legos* *throws all Legos away* *Grandparents buy more Legos for Christmas*
@AimeeHelene1: *wears reindeer antlers* *innocently smiles* *bats eyelashes* *steals your wallet*