@panmidwest: Pro Tip: Make sure you wear your Fitbit on your dominant hand so you get credit every time you lift an ice cream cone to your mouth.
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@emceej: Don't forget to smile today, but not that creepy smile that makes us all wonder how many bodies are buried in your yard.
@AmericanGent69: David Copperfield: Ok I want everyone in the audience to think of a color. Ready? Ok, is your color grey? Audience full of Dogs: OMG!
@Inconsteveable: "Did you realise that a woman's "I'll be ready in five minutes" and a man's "I'll be home in five minutes" are exactly the same?"