@elwaytotheend: Pro tip: never take a laxative and a sleeping pill at the same time.
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@designersays: If you love someone set them on fire. Did I get that right? Oh god what have I done. It's SET THEM FREE isn't it? Sorry burning loved one.
@Parker_Simpson: this Holiday Inn has their flag at half mast...I'm assuming one of their guests died overnight
@AimeeHelene1: *goes in fridge; makes sandwich* *grabs beer* *sits on couch; turns on TV* Him: Ma'am, this is an open house Me: I need the full experience
@carlyken: My favorite part of football is when players "look to God." Because He's all, "I can't do shit for the Middle East but I'm rooting for YOU."