@BuckyIsotope: PRO TIP: Stall your execution by asking if the lethal injection chemicals are gluten-free.
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@panmidwest: [pulled over] ME: Ok, don't let him know you're an alligator COP: Sir, step out of the car & walk in a straight line ME: [exhale] thank God…
@ojedge: "Spirits, are you there?" [ouija board] ＩＦ ＹＯＵ ＬＩＫＥ ＩＴ ＴＨＥＮ ＹＯＵ ＳＨＯＵＬＤＡ ＰＵＴ Ａ ＲＩＮＧ ＯＮ ＩＴ "Damn it, we've held a séaoncé again!"
@ibid78: "Your word is 'oujia'" -could you use that in a seance? [spelling bee judge puts hand over the mic] I think.. I think this guy just won