@TheBoydP: Pro tip: To tell how far away a storm is, count the seconds between the lightning and the thunder and then look at your weather app.
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@onion_an: [at restaurant] Me: "I'm so hungry I could eat a horse" Wife: "I'm the same" Horse family at next table: *just sitting very still*
@Nicole_Kapp87: I never really understood the tiny house trend, but then I saw one where the bed was literally in the kitchen, and now I get it.
@ghostkrogh: Cowboys would still be alive today if they hadn't shot all of their spare bullets in the air after winning one gunfight.