@TheBoydP: Pro tip: To tell how far away a storm is, count the seconds between the lightning and the thunder and then look at your weather app.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@Robert_Beau: I just released a new fragrance, and the people on this elevator are not happy about it.
@bridger_w: Game of Thrones is exciting, but I think it's important to remember that these people are fighting over a chair
@ElleOhHell: UNCLE: Officers weren't even safe from their own men in Vietnam. ME: I've just decided it's too hard to zoom in on any more dogs' noses.
@robfee: The worst part about breaking up right before Halloween is now I have to explain at every party why I'm dressed as half of a horse.