@duplicitron: Probably the rudest thing you can do to a stingray is catch it with a fishing pole and then fly it like a kite.
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@KimJungilSpirit: 4yo doctor visit: Doc: no more than 30 mins for 4yo on the iPad. I'd rather he play with mud. Me: .. Wife:.. Me: where do u download mud?
@petemandik: I'd be far more impressed with He-Man if he went all the way and got his doctorate of the universe.
@iamkevinito: Last night my wife got pissed because I kicked the ice cubes I dropped under the refrigerator. But now it's just water under the fridge.
@bridger_w: Honestly, Officer, I wouldn't have pulled over had I known you were just going to criticize me