@duplicitron: Probably the rudest thing you can do to a stingray is catch it with a fishing pole and then fly it like a kite.
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@loribuckmajor: After exercising and eating right all week on Saturday I'm like the Kool-Aid man running into Chipotle.
@ericsshadow: [hospital] DOCTOR: Your wife signed a DNR ME: I'm here for a sprained ankle DOCTOR: She insisted
@longwall26: Me: I want to buy this chicken Farmer: Ok. Gonna take him home and eat him? *imagines self fighting crime with new chicken buddy* Me: Yes