@WheelTod: Probably the worst part about being a snail is how you can't put salt on your French fries.
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@SteveKoehler22: Snapchat is going public in March with a $30 billion IPO. Investors only hope the value of stock shares holds up longer than its snaps.
@LackOfShame: I've never bitten off more than I can chew, but once I put too much mouthwash in my mouth and couldn't swish it around.
@carlyken: So far my toddler's most impressive defense mechanism is pooping his pants every time anyone rings our doorbell.
@robdelaney: If you pitch a non-superhero, non-remake, non-sequel film in Hollywood they send your family to a work camp.