@theSwellMan: Probably the worst thing about dying a virgin would be all the dead terrorists that are waiting for you.
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@AndyAsAdjective: [watching The Avengers] 7YR OLD: daddy, why does Hulk get so angry? ME: probably because his kid won't stop asking questions during movies
@AimeeHelene1: I bought a white bathrobe and splattered it with red paint just to freak out my neighbors when I go get the mail.
@cuckoo_cachu: Husband has fake roaches that he sets up around the house to scare the shit out of me 24/7. I'm putting out positive pregnancy tests. HA.
@TwoSapphiresBlu: Going to start a band called The Subtweets. All songs will contain cryptic lyrics that incite paranoia in the crowd.