@TheThomason: Professor X gets a lot of credit as a progressive considering his solution to a race conflict was "give them their own school."
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@neerjagurnani: The best way to refuse a credit card telemarketer is to tell them you're unemployed. Guarantees them hanging up within seconds.
@fro_vo: Wife: can you pick up milk on your way home Me: can't he just get a ride home with friends Wife: again, our son's name is not Milk
@AbbieEvansXO: Dark Lord: come join the dark side Me: I would never Dark Lord: the good side makes everyone go around in a circle and say something about themselves Me: I’m joining the dark side