@TheThomason: Professor X gets a lot of credit as a progressive considering his solution to a race conflict was "give them their own school."
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@robdelaney: Maybe if wommen's uteroids weren't such powerful mystery-swamps, the GOP wouldn't have to police them with #light & #K9 units.
@hpb777: My husband's doing that cute thing again where he thinks he's right. *throws his shit out on the lawn* *makes a bonfire*
@trojansauce: [first day as a fireman] me: *shooting fire out of the hose instead of water* ah shoot the boss isn’t gonna be happy about that