@AndyAsAdjective: Promised myself that today I wouldn't steal anything, kill anyone or use any Meatloaf song lyrics in a sentence & two out of three ain't bad
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@joe_binkley: Chopped: College Edition. "In your mystery basket: Ramen Noodles, coffee, crippling debt, a worthless degree. Chefs, you have 30 minutes."
@thejamietighe: Boss: Why is there an olive in your water? Me: What water? Oh yeah this, this is definitely water.
@WhaJoTalkinBout: If there is an opportunity for me to put my pants on backwards in the dark, I take it every time. Apparently.