@upsidedowntrash: [pronounces testosterone like macaroni]
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@NewDadNotes: [Grandpa’s Funeral] Me: don’t worry kids Grandpa is looking up at us from down below. Wife: it’s true wait-what? Me: what? Grandpa was a terrible person.
@BruceForce: I love the way everyone who uses hand sanitizer looks like they're hatching some kind of evil plan.