@upsidedowntrash: [pronounces testosterone like macaroni]
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@ParaComedian09: If only ISIS had kidnapped Liam Neeson's daughter, none of this would be an issue.
@SmokeyDokey43: 1:40am. I get up to pee and step on a squeaky dog toy. He grabs a bat by the bed and yells, "Fried chicken!" So are the days of our lives.
@MunkMania: I like men in uniform, but sometimes it's hard to flirt when they're handcuffing me for menacing or rescuing me from another kitchen fire.