@vapidaccount: ProTip: Make sure heated seats are off before putting your purse on them...lipstick melts.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@itchyturtle: Rent boat. Go out to sea. Find sperm whale. Tell him he's called sperm whale. Console sperm whale. Have fun with new whale best friend.
@better_off_dad: Doctor: What seems to be th- Me: -Medicinal marijuana! Doc: I'm sorry? Me: Let's start with the answer, then work on the problem, ok?
@MKupperman: Tired of rap songs starting with MC going "uhuh uhuh...One two one two...Let's do this..." No. You shoulda been ready when the song started.