@TheBoydP: Protip: Never look up from your breakfast if you hear the words "gruesome discovery" coming from your TV on the morning news.
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@Fred_Delicious: [becomes allergic to the floor midway through a date & slowly floats out of a window]
@UncleDuke1969: *draws a line in the sand* *looks at the line in the sand* *decides that it might be time to vacuum*
@TheTalkingPipe: They say it's the journey that matters and not the destination, which is good because I've no clue where I'm going.
@relatabledad: "hey is that a banana in your pock--" *his pants open* *a banana steps out* *it walks towards you* *it hugs you* "u have freed me. thank u