@TheBoydP: Protip: Women do not consider puffer fish to be a cute pet name or compliment.
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@CerebralWreck: Titanic is my favorite movie about how to get rid of your boyfriend and make it look like an accident.
@FlyJ_: You know that one relative that is annoying AF and no one in the family can tolerate? Yeah, she's staying at my house this week.
@FeverFlave: *waking up to dog kisses* Good morning...such a good boy...yes I love you too...you raided the garbage again didn't you...