@TheBoydP: Protip: Women do not consider puffer fish to be a cute pet name or compliment.
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@badbanana: That guy who ran through the White House could go to prison for ten years, so there's another reason I don't run.
@robfee: Everyone in horror movies: *Loud scream* It was probably just the wind. *Ghost flies across room* Just the wind. *Dog gets cut in half* Wind
@samalmightysam: My life is like that Rihanna song :work, work and work, and then I don't understand anything else.