@TheBoydP: Protip: Women do not consider puffer fish to be a cute pet name or compliment.
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@TheLemon_: You remind me of my big toe. Mainly, because I am going to bang you on every piece of furniture I own.
@DaddyJew: My first day as a cat burglar, Victim: you know you don't actually have to dress up like a cat when you do this Me: *hisses
@lindseyallen: Hate eating nachos with someone at the theater and our fingers touch. Especially if I don't know them, and they don't know we're sharing.