@AsYouNotWish: Proud to announce that I’m still the undefeated champion at racing with drivers who don’t know we’re racing.
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@dafloydsta: [first day as a lawyer] ME: Clearly my client is guilty, your Honor. JUDGE: *pinching bridge of nose* Are you sure you want to defend yourself?
@sageboggs: Hey girl, did it hurt? Did it hurt when you had to use your fingernails to rip through the dense layers of sediment on your way up from Hell
@WilliamAder: Starting to think the frog dissection skills I learned in high school are never going to pay off.