@KingsnorthAP: Prove you're not a robot by typing two words that sounds like they were doodled on a toilet cubicle by a schizophrenic
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@FormerGrunt: My ex was an absolute treasure. By treasure, I mean you will need a map and a shovel to find her.
@DJRotaryRachel: A miracle birth, then resurrection. Accept Frosty the Snowman as your personal savior.
@nonsensetwit: My fear of spiders happened when I went to hit one with a newspaper, and it looked at me and did pushups saying "try again bro."
@dumbbeezie: When someone tells you that you can't do something, ignore them. That's how people trick you into doing things