@KingsnorthAP: Prove you're not a robot by typing two words that sounds like they were doodled on a toilet cubicle by a schizophrenic
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@rachelle_mandik: Yes but what if Donald Trump IS actually dead but his toupee is alive and steering him round like a marionette?
@ShortSleeveSuit: Interviewer: Strengths? Me: Punctuality Interviewer: Weaknesses? Me [alarm clock sounds & I snort cocaine off of a knife blade]: NONE
@AGreaterMonster: A firm handshake and a kiss on the neck is how I like to close my job interviews. Nailed it!
@jordan_stratton: [Walks up to stranger] Me: "Excuse me, would you take my picture?" Him: "Sure." Me: "Great!" [I hand him a beautiful 5x7 portrait of me]