@leifromloihi: [pulls away from kissing] do you ever pretend nfl players with dreadlocks swinging around under their helmets are predators
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@MrsGoose69: Hubby: "Why don't you ever tell me when you have an orgasm?" Wife: "I don't want to bother you while you are at work."
@ericsshadow: Doctor: How long have you been in pain? Women: It started at 7:45am on Monday while I was at work Men: Sometime between yesterday and 1997
@WheelTod: Me *taking long drag on cigarette: “Kids, funerals aren’t really for the dead you know. They’re for the living” *2 weeks later [In church] Priest: “We are gathered here today to...” Me *furiously banging on coffin lid: “This is not what I meant!“