@cynicanoldicus: Pushed too hard against my eardrum with a Q-tip and reset my brain.
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@shadonium: Him: your account was stolen! Me: My twitter account? Him: no your bank account! *sigh* Me: thanks God!
@MarfSalvador: [Party] Her: *Nervous* I don't know anybody Him: It's ok I'll introduce you *into mic* hailing from Detroit & weighing in at I dunno 180lb
@Kyle1092: There's a police officer trying to get me to roll down my window. I'm calling the cops.
@tdwyer618: "Dad, why did Jesus have to die on the cross?" "He didn't do his 1st grade homework."