@AnnoyedWasp: put a wig on the dog and frightened the crap out of the postman.
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@seamussaid: I wake my daughter up by tossing pebbles at her window so the first time a suitor tries she'll have the same response we do to alarm clocks
@TheToddWilliams: [spelling bee] "Your word is stupid" ME: Well give me a different one then "No, that's your word…stupid" ME: Maybe you're the stupid one
@drewtoothpaste: 2019: Tumblr blinks offline, satisfied, having completed its mission of collecting all existing TV and film footage as GIF files.
@pauleggleston: I saw a statue of Cinderella today. I didn't like it, but I found the plinth charming.