@AnnoyedWasp: put a wig on the dog and frightened the crap out of the postman.
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@sixfootcandy: (guy glaring at me because he wants to use the stationary bike) *adds 72 hours to cardio workout*
@nattylumpo88: I wish Kristen from finance would tell us her husband was an "attorney" one more time so I could feel better about shitting in her purse.
@AndyAsAdjective: The new employee manual at work mislabeled "casual Friday" as "cannibal Friday" & sadly we lost poor Dorothy before anyone could stop Fred.