@toastymoe: Put me in your bio so I know it's real... Just kidding, I'd rather be in your will.
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@Kyle_Lippert: MTV giving awards for music is the same as Fox News giving an award for unbiased journalism.
@brianbowman73: Female Coworker: I just got this implant in my arm. It's for birth control. Me: I didn't even know an arm could get pregnant.
@TDeeRock: You know what Victoria's Secret is.. Over charging you for a tiny piece of fabric that can be pushed aside by a tongue.