@68Cly29: Puts fitbit on dogs collar. Throws the ball around. Sits on the couch and eat chips. Wins all the challenges
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@AllyBallyBeal: Guy across the road can't get his truck started. Now he's rolled up his sleeves. That's how you start trucks. By rolling up your sleeves.
@Playing_Dad: Me: Wanna hear a joke? Dog: sure Me: Knock knock *dog goes crazy barking at the door*
@Shingaboop: Coworker: GOOD MORNING! Me: Don't talk to me until I've had my coffee Coworker: But you don't drink coffee Me: Exactly
@DanMentos: [first date] "Tell me two interesting things about yourself" well I lie when I'm nervous… "ok…" and I invented oatmeal