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@Cpt_Burnout: *Puts on apron*
*Places Pop Tarts on plate*
@KirillWasHere: If I had a dollar for every time I thought about you, I would start thinking about you.
@JB4Realz: [creating humans]
GOD: Make them imperfect...
GOD: Now make them apologize to Me all the time for being imperfect.
@ericsshadow: ATTORNEY: my client would like to confess
ME: i sell human organs on the black market
JUDGE [who needs a kidney transplant]: tell me more
@lawyerthoughts: If your entire outfit can be purchased at a gas station it's not appropriate for court.
@djdarrellripley: Why do they put Valentines Day candy in a box shaped like a heart? It's kind of like eating ice cream out of a lung...