@realHamOnWry: Putting a light in the refrigerator is God's way of telling us that it's okay to eat before going to bed.
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@RykWeston: The girl at the Baskins-Robbins thinks Leonardo da Vinci was "in that Titanic movie". Now my ice cream tastes like stupid.
@omically: Honey, I'm afraid we can't get married anymore. weed_hitler69 just told me I was gay. *looks at Xbox* Thank you sir. You've changed my life.
@thenatewolf: "You do realize it's a crime to lie in court, right?" *I think for a moment and then move my hands closer together*
@ClichedOut: *checking out* Card Reader: Would you like to donate $1.00 to Charity X? □ Y □ N *enters N* CR: Are u a selfish prick? □ Y □ N