@Jam453Lane: Putting up Christmas decorations was a bad idea. I'm drunk and stuck on top of the house with an inflatable Easter Bunny.
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@MelissaJoy33: Pro Tip: If you are under the age of 35, don't get married. If you are over 35, don't get married. If you are 35, don't get married.
@Dutch_50: Headline: "Russian Jet Shot Down by Turkey" My 1st thought was, "Holy shit the bird has gone Rambo." I must have Thanksgiving on my mind.
@LaniBeno: Not sure if I washed the spider down the drain in my shower or if he took one look at me naked and then leapt willingly to his death.