@Jam453Lane: Putting up Christmas decorations was a bad idea. I'm drunk and stuck on top of the house with an inflatable Easter Bunny.
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@Playing_Dad: I once sat down with Oprah to discuss my drug use but I was high & that might not have been Oprah because why did she need to borrow money?
@mrsjohngoodman: Remember when The Backstreet Boys told us to show them the meaning of being lonely and we were like ok
@TitansHomer: Wait. Those Nigerian girls are still missing?? What about that really cool hashtag we made? They didn't free them when they saw it??