@Jam453Lane: Putting up Christmas decorations was a bad idea. I'm drunk and stuck on top of the house with an inflatable Easter Bunny.
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@BestScienceJoke: Some cardinals and some ordinals walked into a bar, but the ordinals walked in first.
@Try2StopME: I'm going to the gym now. Not bragging. Just want you to know where to send the ambulance.
@dshack8: Wonder why my son doesn't want me to walk him to the bus stop? Maybe I'd better unhook one of the straps on my overalls like the cool kids.