@Jam453Lane: Putting up Christmas decorations was a bad idea. I'm drunk and stuck on top of the house with an inflatable Easter Bunny.
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@AntozWolf: Adulthood is like the vet, and we're all the dogs that are excited for the car ride until we realize where we're going.
@AndrewNadeau0: HER: *Points to my dish* I'll have what he's having ME:*Blocks plate w/ my arms* This is mine H: No, I mea- M:*To waiter* Tell her it's mine