@Jam453Lane: Putting up Christmas decorations was a bad idea. I'm drunk and stuck on top of the house with an inflatable Easter Bunny.
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@Home_Halfway: ME: How much for this aggressive bottle of water? FIREFIGHTER: Sir that's a hydrant
@Dildo_Hitler: *sees Arnold Schwarzenegger working at Walmart* "hey Arnold, kitchen appliances are toward the back of aisle B right?" "YES. AISLE B, BACK"
@Doh573: Cartoons lied to me as a child. I was lead to believe quicksand was going to be a much larger problem in life.
@ScottLinnen: This club sucks & tell the DJ to lighten up on the Enigma. SON, YOU PASSED OUT. THIS IS A CATHEDRAL