@Lord_Voldemort7: Q: Why did Snape stand in the middle of the road? A: So you'll never know which side he's on.
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@Playing_Dad: [Divorce court] Judge: The reason you're divorcing is "he's annoying?" Wife: He pronounces “yikes” like “Nike" J: Baliff, throw him in jail
@murrman5: [showing date a picture] that's me and my brother at summer camp [showing a pic of me holding a big fish] and that's us after his accident
@Marlebean: Again Mr Jovi, Please stop mailing us bible verses. You cannot continue living on a prayer. We require an actual mortgage payment.