@Lord_Voldemort7: Q: Why did Snape stand in the middle of the road? A: So you'll never know which side he's on.
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@carlyken: So far my toddler's most impressive defense mechanism is pooping his pants every time anyone rings our doorbell.
@zgbetty: The 2nd grade teacher asked parents to donate supplies for tie dye tshirt day but I'm not sure I can come up with that much weed by Friday.
@Breadery: Brain: Walk up to her and offer her a drink. Me: I WANT TO DRINK YOU LIKE A SIPPY CUP. Brain: Can you actually hear me?