@Lord_Voldemort7: Q: Why did Snape stand in the middle of the road? A: So you'll never know which side he's on.
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@envydatropic: So many people say "if my memory serves me correctly" and I'm actually quite shocked at the amount of servants named Memory.......
@vladchoc: I don't need people. I have potato chips. And unlike people you can enjoy them and then legally throw their crumpled remains into a campfire
@DouchyDocLove: Wife just changed her Facebook status to "It's complicated." Better go see what she wants.
@ramenfuneral: if i were a white vegan satanist i would constantly say stuff like "kale satan" and "i love the dark gourd" and nobody would stop me