@birbigs: Quit blaming your iPhone. You meant to say "furbenglurbrn."
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@JohnLyonTweets: "Disney movies promote false images of the friendliness of woodland creatures," I mutter after each rabies shot.
@amfmpm: dry skin? flaky scalp? discoloration? scaling? tongue bifurcating all by itself? hissing? legs fusing together? recently evicted a gypsy?
@PerfectPending: Please do not compare your dog problems to parenting. Your dog cannot say your name 3,258 times in a day.
@chrisdelia: Me: *Asks question on snapchat* Them: *Answers question on snapchat* Me: "Wait, what did I ask again?"