@birbigs: Quit blaming your iPhone. You meant to say "furbenglurbrn."
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@tastefactory: GUY WITH TONS OF BLACKLIGHTS AROUND HIS APARTMENT: Hey come on in! GUY WHO LIKES TO RUB CAT URINE ALL OVER HIMSELF: Ummm. Nah I'm good.
@QwertyJones3: GENE SIMMONS: What is it about me that makes people think I'm gross? "Hygiene" SIMMONS: Hi. Now answer my question.
@Travis_Lemire: Oh, you lost your phone and it's on silent? That's too bad. If you liked it then you should've put a ring on it.