@saltedmacadamia: R.I.P boiling water, you will be mist.
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@TheQuietPsycho: Apparently just because your dad had a bunch of DUI's, the cops won't accept "tradition" as an excuse as to why you're driving drunk.
@carebear4647: No Twitter crush. I have a twitter boyfriend who I intend to marry and have twitter babies. Then twitter divorce and take all his followers.
@Steven37366100: Friend: What a cute baby! Boy or girl? Me: Guess Friend: What’s its name? Me: Spork