@DurtMcHurtt: Raccoons are like hobos, they live outside plus they don't like being shaved while they're eating.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@lasergirl70: My cat that died 3 years ago got a letter saying she needs to register if she wants to vote, showing how well Florida handles elections.
@Brampersandon_: Hey check out this new candle I got. -Sweet. What flavor is it? I think you mean 'what scent is it?' *with a mouthful of candle wax* -What?
@BorowitzReport: Romney: "I have nothing but respect for women. I'm good friends with the owners of some."