@DurtMcHurtt: Raccoons are like hobos, they live outside plus they don't like being shaved while they're eating.
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@tigersgoroooar: Yesterday CNN reported that "sitting will kill you, even if you exercise" and I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but living will kill you.
@Shock_Monster: It's been clinically proven that the most effective form of birth control I can use is: "Just be myself."
@behindyourback: Death be not proud. Death not so great with words, but happy to go out with any girl you want fix Death up with.
@Jake_Vig: Instead of "Who's your daddy?" I accidentally said "How's your daddy?" and we put our clothes back on and discussed her father's cholesterol