@joejwest: RAFIKI: [lifts Simba over head on Pride Rock]
SIMBA: Put me down I am 32 years old
@TheMichaelRock: People in public restrooms don't really like playing Peek-a-boo, apparently.
@jwoodham: Texting wasn't always easy. In my day, you had to work for it. You had to want it. You need an S? You better click that 7 button FOUR TIMES.
@Bexdora: In every teen body-swap film there's that moment where they look in the mirror & are shocked to see an adult.
That's my morning routine now.
@gato_fumando: i'll have a burg please [waiter looks confused] a burg. a meat frisbee. a seared bovine disc. a hamburger sandwich. a bunned beefling my man
@dafloydsta: WIFE: The police are at the front door
ME: *hiding a bag of donuts* Do they look mad?