@DanielRCarrillo: Raid™: For when you don't want to kill ants, but want to make them late for something.
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@Dawn_M_: I would like to be a zombie because when someone asked me if I had a boyfriend I could just eat them.
@fro_vo: Cap: good morning Avengers let's begin Iron Man: wait spider-man is missing Open Mouth Man: weird he was here when i went to sleep last nite
@tastefactory: Young mom: My baby is 34 months Me: Oh really I'm 407 months yeah I hope you like doing math you piece of shit
@OhNoSheTwitnt: The moral of Snow White is if a woman poisons you because you're prettier than her, find some men to chase her off a cliff while you sleep.