@onume_: Ramadan month is exhausting. You have to wait all day to Instagram your food.
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@AimeeHelene1: I'm just gonna give this to you...and you feel free to do whatever you like with it. Nooooo pressure... *slides deodorant across the table*
@themiltron: [God creating beards] ADAM: God, I don’t like my face. GOD: Tell ya what, buddy: I’ll cover it in pubes. ADAM: What? That’s not— GOD: Done.
@TheMichaelRock: If you hate yourself, just drink alcohol like an adult; there's no need to vote for Trump.