@TheAlexNevil: Ran into an ex-girlfriend. We talked, exchanged info, and she said her "insurance would call" me. Someones still carrying a torch!
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@KevinFarzad: Just saw someone order a cup of water at this restaurant. Knocked it out of his hand. We're in a drought, idiot.
@FrenulumBreve: Me:[grabbing my guitar] i wrote this for you. Her: awww. Me:*pulls note out of guitar hole* "we're out of cereal."
@Christi_Q: Dating is hard because guys are like "You're hot, can we do butt stuff yet?" and girls are like "It's been 3 days, where's my ring?"
@JediGigi: Him: How'd you get so cute? Me: I-I-my gosh, I really don't know. I'm not very good at biology.