@xLiserx: Ran into my ex on the street. He's got a hot wife & 2 kids. I have a taco in my hand. And one in my purse. And an emergency taco in my coat.
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@RobDenBleyker: Spider-Man reboots should start with the previous actor biting the new one as the origin story.
@Laser_Cat: [sermon] There will come a day when Christ will drive out evil from our land, and it will be the Judgment Day! *T-1000 shifts nervously*
@Lilbyrdy: My daughter said she wants to run away. We talked. She knows she can walk. I wont chase her.
@TheWeirdWorld: If you attempt to rob a bank you won’t have any trouble with rent/food bills for the next 10 years whether you are successful or not.