@Home_Halfway: Rap videos are completely unrealistic. Nobody has that many friends
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@trentistweeting: "Trent! Your only job was to prep the classroom for Diversity Day!" ME: *in full scuba gear* look, I think "diver city day" could be fun too
@stephenjmolloy: Devil worshipper leader: "Due to a typo we have summoned the wrong demon." Stan: "Hey there."
@MischievousJam: Today seems like the perfect day to make important life altering decisions! - Me, when I've gone two days without sleep
@anagramps: "My nose is going to grow now" said Pinocchio, rending a paradoxical black hole in the fabric of space-time.