@DickKingSmith: Rat warning in Hong Kong is the best rat warning of all time.
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@J_Recommends: My sister read '50 Shades of Grey' and relayed some of its explicit content. I pretended to think those things are shocking, too.
@TheWadest: *requests Uber* *climbs in backseat* Uber driver: "Where to?" Me: "oh, nowhere. I just don't like to change my diaper in the street."