@WildeThingy: [re-enacting the lift scene from Dirty Dancing] "come to me baby, and jump, and oops... You landed in my mouth again! You silly gummy bear."
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@Rollinintheseat: Coworker: "How was your weekend?" Me: "You know, they killed Socrates because he asked too many questions."
@JohnLyonTweets: Her: You have selective hearing. You never hear criticism and only hear things that make you look good. Me: Thanks, you look good too.