@WildeThingy: [re-enacting the lift scene from Dirty Dancing] "come to me baby, and jump, and oops... You landed in my mouth again! You silly gummy bear."
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@rad_milk: as a teen did you ever steal your moms booze and fill it back up with water, or steal money out of her purse and fill it back up with water
@SexySpainNights: When someone cries, "No one gets me" I immediately snatch them and put them in my trunk and yell, "I got you"!
@TheBoydP: Judge: Your charge is burning down your neighbors house Me: Your Honor they hung baskets of plastic flowers on their porch! J: Not Guilty!
@AndyAsAdjective: [checks Facebook & sees my 4th grade girlfriend has liked my hot chocolate recipe share] ME: I knew she'd come crawling back to me one day