@TheAlexNevil: Read a magazine at the doctor's office so I'm all caught up on Clinton running for president. I don't think Bush can beat him.
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@shkeeber: "No, you hang up" No, you hang up. "No, you hang up" No, you hang up. "No you hang up" *slams phone* Why do I keep calling that parrot?!
@jonesination: "The Ugly Duckling" has a great message. Everything in life will work itself out once you become physically attractive.
@RandomManik: I stole a seat from an old man and he remarked, "Chivalry is Dead". I said, "I'm sorry, I didn't know. He wasn't even trending on Twitter".