@deathoftheparty: read this from top to bottom to discover just how much movement your eyebrows are capable of
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@Black__Elvis: Just found a hole in my sock and now I'm worried that the whole drawer might be pregnant.
@Thedudish: It's been so long since I bought groceries, this morning I saw a c**kroach move out. "Good luck," he sighed, clutching his tiny suitcases.
@BuckyIsotope: PRO TIP: Stall your execution by asking if the lethal injection chemicals are gluten-free.