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@jewschebag: *reads own tweet*
Haha, so relatable
@Jaywoo74: If you don't think of 50 different ways to murder your boss every morning on your drive to work you're probably the boss
@WhatevaConc: I see dead people.
No wait, I take that back.
I see people I want dead.
@Bluestmoon_: 78% of parenting is spent anxiously praying they don't notice the minuscule lego piece you just vacuumed up.
@Reverend_Scott: [Jesus at Last Supper]
[holds up bread] This is my body
[holds up wine] This is my blood
[holds up Instagram pic]
This was my breakfast
@Underchilde: My parents are in town and said they’d be at my house in ten minutes, and I’m wondering if that’s enough time to build a moat.