@mysteryteacher: Really, IKEA? No free WiFi? Or do I have to buy one and assemble it?
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@girl_a_whirl: All I'm saying is if you've ever seen me put patio furniture covers on, you'd NEVER ask me to put a condom on.
@oxygenplug: *you see a bear approaching* "quick play dead!" *bear runs up to you* "OH GOD. WHO DID THIS TO YOU. ANSWER ME. WHO DID THIS TO YOUUUU"
@Mindless4Miles: Every gift from a child is special. Except for this, pine cone #763. I could really do without that.
@markleggett: A bird in the hand is worth nothing and is probably giving you duck AIDS. Put it back.