@MazMEDEA: Really not sure what's all the fuss about the Queen's #Nazi salute, everyone knows 'Scissors Beat Paper'
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@Sickayduh: "911, what's your emerg-" "The women at work have synced their uteri and it's Hell" "Sir uteri is not plural for ute-" "TAMPI EVERYWHERE"
@abhorrent_wife: I would totally get into a stranger's windowless van if they took me away from my family for an hour.
@mommy_cusses: Parenting Tip: Wear clothing with pockets so you can flip off your children inconspicuously.
@foxxy311: Ladies, don't waste your time picking up guys at Chuck E Cheese. Apparently they have a "family" & a "wife" & I'm "ruining their dinner."