@daemonic3: Really want to try out a career in tracing, or something along those lines.
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@the_paramedicK: Mom: why are your eyes dilated Me: your eyes dilate up to 45% when you look at something you love Mom: what were you looking at Me: memes
@WowYoureFunny: I'm so sick and tired of my friends who can't handle their alcohol. The other night they dropped me 3x while carrying me to the car!
@gerryhallcomedy: A girl named Ruth quit working at our office. I've been referring to the office as "ruthless" since then. People are pissed.