@ImaFlyontheWall: Receptionist: So you're here about your carpal tunnel huh..fill out these 20 forms and press hard so the copies are clear
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@GrumpyBahr: Me: Grandma died, can't work today. Boss: Thought she died last month? Me: This time she is for real dead. We poked her with a stick.
@LMuenster: [orders 2,000 Big Macs thinking I'll only have to tell my mom 'I love her' for them] Cashier: that'll be $5,364.32 Me: shit
@heroinsdemise: What many don't know, "Riverdance" was invented while waiting in line at the ladies toilet.