@bingowings14: Reduce your kids intake of sugary, fizzy drinks by shaking up the can before handing it to them.
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@RexHuppke: BREAKING: North Dakota lawmakers decide life begins at conception, and then begins again the moment you're old enough to leave North Dakota
@justabloodygame: "It's terminal-" GOD! HOW LONG DO I HAVE? "Departure time is in three hours." THREE? WHAT DO I DO? "This is an airport." SO WHAT? I'M DYING!