@bingowings14: Reduce your kids intake of sugary, fizzy drinks by shaking up the can before handing it to them.
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@KalvinMacleod: Alanis Morissette: It’s like 10000 spoons when all you need is a knife. Spoons R Us clerk: Ma’am, nobody asked you to shop here.
@KevinFarzad: Language is cool because it's just a bunch of sounds, but put them in the right order & you can make someone cry or you can order tacos.
@RecursiveTaco: Me: *throwing popcorn to our toddler like a pigeon* Wife: Stop that! Do you want more to show up?!