@TheNardvark: Refrigerator ice dispensers are perfect for those times when you need either zero or 5000 ice cubes.
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@GianDoh: If someone says "With all due respect," what follows is the verbal equivalent of a captive chimp hurling feces at you.
@215potter: If the human race has a "signature move," its gotta be lying to the dentist about flossing.
@khook32: One of these days you'll see the real me. Probably next week. I'm almost out of concealer.
@KentWGraham: I accepted the Microsoft terms and conditions without reading them, and apparently I’m now responsible for hemming all of Bill Gates’ pants.