@QwertyJones3: Relationship status: I'm about to go put on my camouflage pants so my family can't find me on the couch.
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@splashguts: I just purchased duct tape at the Dollar Store to fix all of the other shit I bought at the Dollar Store. Life is going exactly as planned.
@holymolynicole: My ex didn't realize 'cheat day' only meant he could eat whatever FOOD he wanted.