@buhsbaby_baby: Relationship Status: just tried to reach for my dog's paw and he pulled it away so I pretended I was reaching for the remote.
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@Sarcasticsapien: I think first dates should just be writing down the bad stuff from your past and sliding it across the table like you're making an offer.
@rachellinfox: Sister posted on FB: pray for me, I have a test tomorrow. My comment: it's cheating if Jesus helps you. Solidifying my black sheep status
@ObscureGent: When I die, I'm going out guns blazing with all hell coming with me. *Dies eating gas station sushi