@breatheandlove: Relationship status: my period comes more often than I do.
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@KrazykurtKurt: If you tell your girlfriend you think the girl at in the corner shop fancies you, you'll never have to pop out to get bread and milk again
@KalvinMacleod: How to determine what party to vote for: 1) Calculate income 2) Divide by number of dependents 3) Subtract age 4) Download Game of War
@ComedicBust: [About to have sex] Me: I want you so bad. Her: Take me. Me: [rips off panties] Her: WHY THE HELL ARE YOU WEARING PANTIES